Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
