it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
