is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize