going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
