I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
