Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
