I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
