worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
