Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
