we're blogging at a bar
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
