it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
