Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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