I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
tell me about the fingering
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