is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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