What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
