Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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