She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Randomize
