Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
