how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize