remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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