I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
