you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
