all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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