with your own penis?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You ruined the universe
wow bdsm is so cute
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize