I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
