i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
