I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
