She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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