I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
