I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
