"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
