Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
