between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
