we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
