If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
