from now on my penis is your penis
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize