Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
