i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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