Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
