When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
