Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
