how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
