Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
