11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
