he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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