I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
