Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
