I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
