you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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