Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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