Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
