I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
