i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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