I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
