Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
