omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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