We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
