when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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