I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
